OutofTheInBox

A mouse, a blonde

One harms the cheese.

The other charms the he’s.

A blonde's bumper sticker

Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.

Blonde daredevil's last words

“I'll get a world record for this.”

Cough, cough

Doctor: "Is your cough better this morning?"

Patient: "Yes. I've been practicing all night."

I'm blonde

I'm blonde. What's your excuse?

Christmas tree

Two blondes went deep into the frozen woods searching for a Christmas tree. After hours of subzero temperatures, one turned to the other and said: “I’m chopping down the next tree I see. I don’t care whether it’s decorated or not!”

The phone call

Young blonde mother answers the phone.
Older woman: "How's my beautiful daughter-in-law?"
Blonde: "Oh, it's been a rough day. I have a headache, the kids are acting up and our house is a mess."
Woman: "Don't worry dear. I'll come over, take the children out for ice cream, give you a chance to rest. Then, I'll cook a nice chicken for you and Henry."
Blonde: "Who's Henry?"
Woman: "My son, your husband, of course!"
Blonde: "Wait, this is the wrong house. You must have dialed the wrong number."
Woman: "I'm so sorry."
Blonde: "Does this mean you're not coming over?"

The traffic stop

A husband is driving with his blonde wife, and going a little too fast. A police car pulls them over.
Officer: "You were going 70 in a 55 zone."
Driver: "No, officer, I was going 55."
Officer: "I clocked you going 70. I have it right here."
Driver: "I'm sorry, officer. I'm sure I was traveling at 55."
Officer, growing exasperated: "Ma'am, you must have noticed what was happening. Was your husband really driving 55?"
Blonde: "Officer, I agree with my husband. I know by now never to argue with him when he's been drinking."

"I'm winning!"

Some blonde jokes can be set anywhere. This blonde joke is from a town where people like to gamble:

A blonde went up to a soda machine in Atlantic City. She put in 50 cents and out popped a Coke. Searching her bag for more money, she kept feeding the machine quarters. Cokes and Sprite and Mountain Dew bottles began rolling down the street.
A young man walked up behind her and watched this for a few minutes. Then he asked, "Can I get one now?"
She turned around and yelled: "No way. Can't you see I'm winning?"

 

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Click for another blonde joke, with a soda pop theme.

Blonde and a computer

Q. How do you know when a blonde has been using the computer?
A. There is cheese in front of the mouse.