OutofTheInBox

Cough, cough

Doctor: "Is your cough better this morning?"

Patient: "Yes. I've been practicing all night."

The sleeping pills

Blonde joke, medical file

A blonde dragged herself in to the doctor’s office. “Doctor, the  dogs in  my neighborhood  bark all day and all night, and I can’t get a wink of sleep.”

“I have good news for you,” the doctor answered, rummaging through a drawer full of sample medications. “Here are some new sleeping pills that work like a dream. A few of these and your trouble will be over.”

“Great,” the blond answered, “I’ll try anything. Let’s give it a shot.”

A few weeks later the blond returned, looking worse than ever. “Doc, your plan is no good. I’m more tired than before!”

“I don’t understand,” said the doctor, shaking his head. “Those are the strongest pills on the market!”

“That may be true,” answered the blond wearily, “but it takes me most of the night to catch those dogs and when I do catch one,  it’s hard getting him to swallow the pill!”

At the vet's

The veterinarian told the blonde that her dog needed some exercise.

”Make sure this dog runs around,” the doctor said. “Try playing a game of fetch with him.”

”I can’t play fetch with my dog,” the blonde said.

“Why not?” the doctor asked.

”Because,” she replied, “he can’t throw.”

At the eye doctor

Blonde patient arrives at the optometrist’s office.

Receptionist: “Eyes checked?”

Patient: “No, they’re blue.”

Which one is blonde?

A woman rushed into the doctor's office and shouted, “Doctor! I think I'm shrinking!”
The doctor calmly responded, “Now, settle down. You'll just have to be a little patient.”

Patience

 

Doctor: How is the boy who swallowed the silver dollar?

Nurse: No change yet.

The trouble with pills

Doctor: “Take one of these pills three times a day.”

 
Patient: “How do I take a pill more than once?”

Insomnia problem

Q. “How's your insomnia?”

A. “Even worse. Now I can't sleep at work.”

 

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Click for a tale of another challenging day at work.

Inspiring slogans, medical file

Medical office slogan:

 “If you’re at death’s door, our doctors will pull you through.”

Feeling the pain

First blonde: “The pain is still bothering me and I think I might have appendicitis, but I need to know where it’s supposed to hurt. Where is your appendix?

Second blonde: “Oh, I had mine out when I was a kid. It must still be in Ohio."

Click for another funny medical moment