OutofTheInBox

A seat belt problem

The blonde driver has a lifesaving tool in her car designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the trunk.

No more than 45

Police officer: When I saw you coming around that bend, I thought, “Forty-five at least.”  
Blonde driver: Well, I always look older in this hat.

The blonde driver problem

Traffic court judge: “But if you saw the blonde girl driving toward you, why didn't you give her half the road?”
Driver: “I was going to, your Honor, as soon as I could find out which half she wanted.”

A blonde and the mechanic

Blonde joke from the auto shop:

A few days ago, I was at my local garage. A blonde came in and asked for a seven-hundred-ten. We all looked at each other and another customer asked, "What is a seven-hundred-ten?"
She replied: "The little piece in the middle of the engine. Mine is gone and I need a new one." she did not know exactly what it was, she said, but this piece had always been there. The mechanic gave her paper and a pen and asked her to draw the piece.  She drew a circle and in the middle wrote 710. He then took her over to another car that had its hood up and asked, "Is there a 710 on this car?" She pointed and said, "Of course, it's right there." Click to see what the blonde showed the mechanic.

"It's going to rain"

So many blonde jokes involve cars, and this is a classic:

Two blondes finished shopping, went out to their car, a sporty convertible with leather interior, and realized they had locked the keys inside. They both stood there and thought for a while. Then one of the blondes remembered there were hangers with their purchases and decided to try to open the door lock with a coat hanger. As she started fiddling with the hanger, the other blonde looked at the sky and became very worried. She pleaded:

“Hurry, it’s going to rain and we left the top down!”

Not just one car

Blonde joke, freeway file

As a blonde was driving down the freeway, her car phone rang. Answering, she heard a friend urgently warning, "Honey, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Interstate 77. Please be careful!"

The blonde replied: "It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!"

DWB -- driving while blonde

Who's the blonde?

Man driving down road.

Woman driving up same road.

They pass each other.

The woman yells out the window, "pig!"

Man yells out window, "bitch!"

Man rounds next curve, crashes into a huge pig in middle of road, and dies.

The snowstorm

The snowstorm was raging when the blonde got out of work. She remembered her father’s advice about driving in a blizzard – follow a snow plow. Luckily, a plow came by just that minute and she drove off right behind it. They made steady progress for nearly an hour until the plow came to a stop and the driver walked over to her window.

“Do you need any help?” the plow-truck driver asked.

“No, I’m just glad I remembered my father’s advice to follow a plow during a blizzard.”

“That’s fine with me, lady. I just finished plowing the Wal-Mart lot and you’re welcome to follow me for the next hour when I clear the lot at Sears.”

Relieved blonde

"I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off.  I was relieved when he told me all I needed was turn signal fluid."