"Open Wide"

Do we all agree that visiting the dentist is an absolutely unpleasant experience?  Could it be that just holding your mouth wide open is exhausting?  And lying there immobile? 

I had a perfectly healthy set of teeth until I got the routine complete mouth ex-ray.  Yikes!  A failed root-canal under a small bridge that had cracking cement, with the strong possibility of infection.  So a barrage of scheduled appointments between the two specialists. 

The hardest part for the dentist was removing this solid little dental bridge that refused to be lifted off.  I had a lip swelled like it met a boxer's glove by the time it was out.  This was the piece with the cracked cement? 

The doctor who does the root-canal talks incessantly.  A soft murmur without pause about how you might feel later, pain or maybe no pain, and what measures to take - on and on.  If meant to be hypnotic, it was very effective.  He reaches the end of this personal instruction manual just as you are ready to rinse.  The nurse hands me a little cup of water and a funnel suction cup, and advises, "Please bring it close to your mouth and spit right into the cup"  This broke me up and I scattered the water as I barked in laughter.  "You mean people miss the cup?"  She said "Yes."  OK, I got one laugh out of it.

$995. for the root canal.

Two more visits to the other doctor.  Here the office person figures up the bill, and says, "$3500."

"What?" I scream. "What?  What?  What?"  She looks at it now, for the first time, not as a number, but money.  Pause.  Apologetically, she repeats that awful number.  So I say, in jest, "Don't you have a senior discount?"  She looks at her computer screen and says, "Yes, we do."  Calculates. Figures it up.  "$3150."  Somehow, that did not seem much better.  But I thanked her, with dignity.  Who knew you can negotiate your teeth. 

I remember the nurse saying during the procedure, "You are an excellent patient."  When I was spitting into her cup, she repeated, "You are an excellent patient."  I was puzzled.  You are lying there trapped under the wrap around your neck, the doctor leaning over you, his hands stuffed in you mouth - how can you act up?  "People give you trouble?"  I asked.  She waggles her hands and rolls her eyes.  "Really?  How?" 

But here is the dentist, and again you open wide, and the opportunity for gossip is lost.

---Florence

Comments

[Harry Bronson]

Not being able to move while the dentist is working on your teeth does feel a little intimidating. It feels good, though, once everything is done. After the procedure, and when you're left with healthy and strong teeth, you can take a deep breath and a sigh of relief.