Personal Advisor

It's a story about emerging jobs.  This one described in The New York Times is called life coach.  Not Life Coach which sounds more professional.  While many life coaches are accredited, it says, no degrees or credentials are required, and there is no federal or state oversight of the industry. One man is quoted as saying he charges $50 to $75 an hour for a coaching session.

I am losing money every minute.  I sit in my store dispensing advise whether asked for or not, and I don't charge a penny.  But I thought I was being neighborly.  I didn't realize I was a practicing life coach. 

I read this news article (Jobs 1/11/2008, Fresh Starts) several times over, and it appears I am so qualified that I just might add it to my store window in gold, Life Coach.  The only illegal part is putting it in caps.  I might even add Walk-ins Welcome.  I won't need a couch.  One lady conducts her sessions over the phone or with e-mails.  I prefer the personal touch, literally.  A pat on the shoulder, let's say.  A handkerchief for the tears when I pull no punches. 

Already I teach English as a Second Language, or ESL.  People struggling to speak English get a lot of help from me.  A young lady was telling me about the jung children she baby sits for.  When I corrected her, she said, "Ahh, like Yellow."  When she said Jesterday, I said yellow, and she said, "Ahh, yesterday."  I asked whether she minded that I kept interrupting her, (her grammar was a bit convoluted as well) and she said, "No, I must learn."  She was a chemist in Mexico, and is an au pair here, which ironically is French although most of the young ladies working in that capacity are Hispanic or of other nationalities.  A Russian man was in today, and his English was pitiful. But drop me into Russia, guaranteed I couldn't speak even as poorly as he did no matter how long I lived there.  With his very limited vocabulary, he made clear that he was looking for large books with hand colored plates of flowers or animals.  Which I didn't have.

But, see?  When I don't have the book you want, I can sit you down and get your $75 by telling you your life will be much easier if only you would..........

---Florence

Comments

[Florence's son, Steve]

I realize this may be a bit off-topic, but your story gives me an idea for a new invention..."Life couch." You get a couch, affix Life Magazine photos by Art Shay to it, and your coaching customers can recline in it and you can be their Life couch coach. And they will remember every piece of your advice, assuming they have a photographic memory.

[jonny c, ex of HP]

TESL---Didn't he invent electricity? :-)

[jonny c, ex of HP]

Q: How does one spell "fish" in English?
A: GHOTI

as in--
rouGH
wOmen
naTIon

say it (out)loud and you'll hear what I mean.

[Florence]

jonny c, I said it out loud. A lot. I don't get it. A fish?